Step-by-Step Guide For Anxiety-Inducing Situations
Managing anxiety is best done throughout the day, as unsettling situations arise, so that to avoid a build-up of emotions that may overwhelm you at the worst possible moment. If you know you are going to enter a space that generates anxiety, whether it be going to the office, a party or a family get-together, etc... it is wise to take a moment to prepare and ground yourself. Taking 2-3 minutes to bring your anxiety level down at this point can make a big difference on how you will experience and manage the actual situation. Depending on the level of anxiety you experience, you may want to run through this process more than once. For instance, you can prepare yourself a few days ahead of the event, earlier on the day, and and just before the situation.
Grounding yourself works best if you attend to your body, your emotions and your thoughts so that all these aspects of your most immediate experience are reasonably settled before you enter the stressful environment.
Prepare Acknowledge We can have control only over what we acknowledge. The first step to managing anxiety is to get consciously familiar with its triggers and symptoms. Pay attention to trigger events; notice your thoughts, emotions and physical reactions when you anticipate or are in those situations. Examples are:
Scenario running in your heads of how things will go
Feelings of unease, dread
Elevated heart rate
Feeling hot and/or sweaty
Wanting to cry, hide
Breathe Take several deep breaths, breathing in slowly and deeply though the nose and breathing out fully through the mouth. Do this for as long as you need to, until you feel calmer, your heart rate is slower and your heightened emotions feel steadier.
Reassure Focus on the present moment. Anxiety mostly is about the future, which is not there yet.
Look around yourself and notice specific aspects of your surroundings
Listen to the sounds around you
Feel the air, the temperature
Touch your clothes, objects around you
Eat of drink something nice
All the while, focus on reminding yourself that in this moment, you are safe. Whatever makes you anxious is in a potential future. here and now, you are OK.
Plan It can be helpful to plan for a situation the you know is an anxiety trigger. Good planning questions to ask yourself are:
What are your boundaries in this situation?
How might you try and implement them?
Who/what could support you in the process?
How will you leave in an appropriate way if it gets too much?
It may pay to jolt your answers down on paper or on a mobile device so as to have a visual reminder readily available. Please contact me if you would like help applying these tools to your personal circumstances.
During the Situation Breathe Remind yourself to take deep breathes regularly. This will help to regulate your nervous system.
Use “Anchors” Anchors are visual, mental, tactile, auditory or olfactory prompts that generate an internal response - in this instance, calm, confidence, acceptance, etc... Examples of anchors are:
A note on your phone screen to remind you to breathe
A mental image, a memory or a picture on your phone that you associate with safety and calm
Touching a reassuring object that you put in a convenient pocket
Remembering a favourite smell that you associate with relaxation, calm or comfort
Take Breaks When you feel anxiety escalating beyond your normal baseline, take a break and walk away for a few minutes (a bathroom or drink break work well). Take this opportunity to breathe deeply, use any anchor available, remind yourself of your boundaries and strategies, or talk to your support person if applicable. When self-soothing does not work any longer, put your exit plan in practice and leave the situation.
Debrief It is useful to take a moment by yourself or with a safe and supportive person to debrief and evaluate how the situation went. Acknowledge What Went Well Acknowledging small progress helps building on it and working towards bigger changes. Even if you did get overwhelmed by anxiety, because you prepared you probably did some things differently. Name what went well, what you did differently, better even. Try and identify what helped this positive outcome. What might you want to do more frequently, because it was helpful in this instance? Acknowledge Your Growing Edge Look at what did not go so well. It is useful to be curious about the edges of growth and change, rather than critical. Remember than change takes time and practice. When did things really get rocky? What triggered that? How did you react? If a similar situation were to arise again, how could you respond differently? Acknowledge this growing edge and learn from this instance to plan for the next. Accept and Let Go Take a few deep breaths and hold side by side the progress and the edges that you identified. Remind yourself: It is done; it is finished; it is in the past. You did it, the good and the ugly. And now it is over. Take a few more deep breathes, and turn your thoughts to what comes next.
As you practice these steps, you will likely find that you require less time and effort to go through the whole process. Over time, as your anxiety baseline lowers and your capacity to manage it increases, you will also need to go through these steps less frequently. If you would like help adapting these tools to your personal circumstances, please contact me. Best wishes on your journey of managing anxiety!