“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have." Robert Holden, PhD.
As human beings we never exist outside of relationships. From infancy, relationships are the context in which we learn to know about our self. Relationships are where we form and affirm our identity. They are where we experience warmth, love and safety but also where we learn about pain, loss and absence. They can be the place of most joy and most wounding.
People are imperfect and life is full of curveballs. Relational wounding and trauma can come from any background or circumstances, even the most wholesome. Children naturally make meaning of the context that surrounds them, and every family - and society - has its culture, norms, expectations, etc... that children must adapt to. Because we are social beings, there always is a need to mold parts of our identity around external expectations, even as adults.
This natural adaptation, however, can become problematic when the context in which we developed our sense of self was excessively critical, demanding or physically, emotionally, verbally or psychologically violent. Sometimes, the environment was simply quite rigid, even with the best of intentions and much love involved. Harsh environments can impact us all our life long, and having a good start does not guarantee that we will not encounter other relationships that challenges our self-worth as adults. Life can always present personal or professional relationships that are critical, abusive, manipulative, etc... and erode our sense of self.
A difficult relationship with yourself may show as low self-esteem, low confidence, frequent self-criticism, difficulty investing time and effort in yourself and maintaining healthy habits, difficulty in trusting yourself and in making decisions. If you have operated in environments that were harsh, you may have developed difficulties in trusting others, in articulating your needs and showing your emotions. You may find it hard to relate to others, communicate and feel safe in social context and in the relationships in your life.
I understand the complexity of relationships and how hard it can be to come to terms with the blends of love and hurt that often occur.
I provide a safe space where you can freely articulate and explore your experience in relationships, make meaning of these experiences, understand how they have shaped your sense of self and the way you are with yourself and others. I can help you develop tools to communicate more effectively, look well after yourself, implement safe boundaries, trust yourself and treat yourself with respect, and learn to trust and feel respected and valued by others.
Contact me if you would like a safe and calm space to start healing your relationship with yourself and others.